Square Sounds
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Show/Game Sounds
The NBC Peacock stinger that preceded pretty much every NBC Squares until the fall of 1975.
That wonderful theme by William Loose, as it sounds on the "Best of TV Quiz & Game Show Themes" CD.  (Want to hear the whole thing? Then click here to order it.)  
The Loose theme from an actual show closing, featuring the piccolo and second keyboard solos missing from the CD version.
A typical open, circa 1977. (Remember before satellite transmission, when each of the three networks had its own audio processing and you could tell which network you were watching, just by the sound pitch? Listen closely to this clip and you'll hear NBC's.)
A similar open, this one from the syndicated nighttime version, circa 1976.
A rarely-heard opening from the Vegas season (1980-81). (Courtesy Ed Wilczek)
This is the bugle fanfare that sounded whenever anyone picked the Secret Square. 
The "victory" music, whenever anyone won a game, match or the Secret Square.
As close to poetry as game shows get: Peter Marshall reads the rules on the daytime version.
A prize from a less politically correct time: announcer Kenny Williams describes the fur Sandy Duncan is modeling.
My least favorite part of the nighttime version: the loud end-of-show horn.
A 1967 closing featuring several rarities in a matter of seconds: Kenny Williams doing a promo for Jeopardy!, a ticket plug, and the rarely-heard theme by the Jimmy Haskell orchestra.
The Stan Worth closing theme from the show's last couple of years.
From the June 20, 1980 network finale, a very classy goodbye from Peter Marshall.
Zingers
A classic Paul Lynde moment, in which he demonstrates the lost art of the double entendre.
Another choice barb from Paul, this one from 1974.
One of the most often-quoted zingers from Joan Rivers.
Cliff Arquette, late grandfather of Rosanna, Patricia and David, as Charley Weaver.
That annoying end-of-show horn interrupts one of Rose Marie's questions, so she gives us this classic ad-lib.
Impressionist Rich Little does a hilarious impersonation of Burt Reynolds.
The real Burt Reynolds discusses girlie magazines and takes a shot at Dear Abby.  Don Knotts is also heard briefly.
A classic exchange with Big Bird that cracks Peter Marshall up.
Quite possibly the show's most famous blooper ever--Peter Marshall and Spanish-speaking bombshell Charo discuss "riding abreast."
Mel Brooks slips briefly into his memorable 2,000 year old man character in this gem from 1974.
It wasn't everyday that someone came up with a quip at Paul Lynde's expense.  In this classic moment, Karen Valentine (of all people) manages to do just that.
A musical (and funny) response from John Byner.
The end-of-show horn understandably terrifies Big Bird.
One of George Gobel's many, many comments about his own drinking.
The apocalypse, as seen through the eyes of George Gobel.
Paul Lynde discusses airline security as only Paul Lynde can.
Quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard Rose Marie say...
...and this would probably be the second funniest.
I wouldn't be worth my salt as an Andy Griffith Show fan if I didn't include this one from Don Knotts.
Another Mayberry alumnus, Jim Nabors, discusses a little-known fact about the Squares.
Charley Weaver shows us he's a dirty old man.
Charley Weaver takes on Miss America.
From 1976, McLean Stevenson uses oral sound effects to rush an indecisive contestant.
...but in this clip from two years earlier McLean's mouth almost fails him.
From the 1979 "Rock and Roll Legends" episode, singer Connie Francis comes up with a very funny bluff.
A Don Rickles exchange from 1974.
From 1977...Paul Lynde shows us why no one ever falsely accused him of being politically correct.
One of Paul's most often quoted lines, this one is from 1976.
Another widely-quoted Lynde-ism, this one on the subject of sports history.
Peter Marshall chit-chats with Sesame Street's resident manic-depressive, Oscar the Grouch.
Horror-film legend Vincent Price often raised chill bumps as a mad scientist...but boy did he ever have a different persona as a semi-regular on Squares. Here he brings down the house with a memorable one-word answer.
Vincent strikes again, this time at the expense of Tonight Show announcer Ed McMahon.
From the 1980 network finale: Madame, the wooden half of Wayland and Madame, takes a nasty shot at NBC President Fred Silverman.
Redd Foxx says one of the funniest things I ever heard him say, this one from 1975.
Another gem from Redd Foxx.
Paul Lynde discusses the vet-assisted facts of life.
In another zinger from that same show (1975), Lynde milks his last joke (no pun intended).
Paul returns to the dairy for another animal joke.
Yet another animal joke from Paul, this one about man's best friend...
Here's a keeper for Paul Lynde and game show fans: first of all, Peter Marshall plugs Paul's infamous ABC special, then asks Paul a question about classic TV...Paul's answer is priceless.
The first hour-long episode from 1975 included a contestant named Marty who had an uncontrollable laugh.  Here, it finally gets the best of Milton Berle and his patience.
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